This is one of my most vivid memories. I was 26 and about to walk down the aisle to the man I loved like none other.
Having celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary just last week, I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learned in a decade of living and loving. I was pretty naïve (or blissfully unaware!) when I started out in our marriage, but along the way we’ve figured out what works…and what doesn’t…for us.
So, I thought I’d share with you some of the things I’ve learned in ten years of being a Mrs.
The Power of Two
One thing we’ve got right is that we still have our own lives.
Sometimes we holiday together, sometimes we don’t.
Sometimes we go out together on the weekend, sometimes we don’t.
There is a trust and freedom that brings out the best in both of us.
It’s OK To Go To Bed Angry
When we first got married, I would doggedly insist that we couldn’t go to bed angry. But over the years I’ve realised that sometimes nothing will be resolved before you get some shuteye. You have to know when to quit and instead agree on a time when you’ll come back together and start talking again. Because, even though you’re hitting pause, there’s no need to leave an argument unresolved.
How To Have A Truly Generous Sprit
No one is generous quite like my husband. He gives without expecting anything in return…something that is all too rare.
When You See The World Differently, There’s No Shame In Getting Help
We communicate very differently. Always have. Always will. But a couple of years ago, we sought out help to understand how we could become better communicators. It was a lot of hard work (and a few uncomfortable moments when the mirror was held up to us as a couple) but it was the one thing that has had the biggest impact on our marriage.
Let Him Parent His Way
I travel for work. I also travel with my friends (see #1 above!). But when I step out the front door, I’ve learnt to let go of what happens next. I don’t prepare meals or leave long notes about how he should look after the kids. As long as everyone is happy, fed and clean – it really doesn’t matter how it happens. He’s their father – and an amazing one at that – so his way is going to be just right, even if it’s not necessarily my way.
You’re a Fool if You Think You’ll Never be Lonely in A Marriage
The loneliness of miscarrying our baby was almost unbearable. It felt like no one could help. So, even though you have your one and only by your side, there will still be times when they can’t make things right. It’s still going to be up to you.